jacqueline & maixent
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Posted: Jan 23 2015, 12:59 PM
Aubrey Wallis Whitney
A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself
kleptomaniac — sweetheart — jokester — loyal — loving
when he was little, he obsessed with being a princess
My name is Aubrey Wallis Whitney.
I don’t have a middle name, despite what it might look like. Wallis is actually my mum’s surname, and Whitney is my dad’s. So I’m just plain old Aubrey, no fancy middle name to use as alternation, and my initials spell AWW: real manly.
I guess I should probably elaborate, you’d know that much just by glancing at my birth certificate really. I’m in sixth form in secondary school currently, well ‘high school’ if you wanna Americanise it… supposed to be going to University in the next couple of years but well, we’ll see, right? If I were to go? I guess I’d probably study computer science or something like that. I like games, and I like hacking into my dad’s online banking account. Seems sensible to follow my hobbies, really.
Speaking of my dad- well, not much to say I guess. He’s not the easiest guy to live with- he has his moments where you just wanna… shake him. Him and mum used to argue a lot, I didn’t know the details or anything but I guess like everyone else in the economy those days they were just stressed. She’d yell, he’d yell… a plate would get smashed and then she’d serve dinner and call me in and we’d all eat in awkward silence.
As you can imagine, after a while… mum got tired. I mean, I totally empathise there don’t get me wrong- it’s fucking knackering living with the guy. Only thing is she uh, left something behind. Me. She left me behind. It’s fine though, he's not that bad. I still go to school and my grades are average (better than shit or non-existent, right?) and I still have friends and all that crap. A broken home does not a broken child make! Okay so maybe I’m a little weird, and maybe I do pick pockets and shoplift but what kid hasn’t done that at least once, am I right?
“Look Aubrey, this is serious. You know we’re going to have to call your parents right?”
“By all means! Know what? Call my mum.”
“Aubrey. We both know you don’t live with your mother…”
“Not yet, no. Might change if you help me track her down.”
“Did I just make this awkward?”
“Just… go back to class, Aubrey. But if you’re caught stealing from the canteen again-”
“Yeah, I know. You’ll call my dad.”
Okay, so maybe I do play on the ‘missing mother’ story a bit to get away with stuff. Wouldn’t you? I mean, I don’t have any hard feelings against her at all but… I miss her, you know? What kid wouldn’t miss their mother? Even if they were walked out on and left behind. Even if they do sometimes wonder if she even- but no, there’s no hard feelings, it’s just convenient. Crack out that little number and school officials tend to drop the subject immediately and send you off back to class or home or wherever you were going before they impeded you. I wouldn’t say I’m in trouble all that often, I’m really not a problem kid: but everyone has slip ups.
I don’t know if it works with the Police yet but… thankfully, not been apprehended for anything just yet. I intend to keep it that way if at all possible. They’re probably more difficult to sway with sob stories. Plus, like dad says- they’re nosy bastards.
So that’s me in a nutshell. Class clown, small-time thief and high school student. Living with a single father in central London, and frequenter of Camden Market.
My name is Aubrey Wallis Whitney.
And I’m doing just fine.
"Aubrey... tell me what's going on."
"Everything's fine Miss S. No need to worry."
eve — 22 — gmt — pm/aim — judas, jack, dominic, antoinette
Posted: Feb 17 2015, 08:01 PM
Oh, Aubrey, Aubrey. I have always loved him and you know it and he breaks my heart, as always. The last bit of this app gets to me, okay? ><